For many and most, summer is a time where people can look forward to fun, sun, memories, adventures, family, friends, and fun cuisine. Individuals may look forward to time away from work, trips to new places, and little breaks from reality. However, for those with or recovering from an eating disorder, summer can be a heightened time of eating disorder related symptoms. Anxiety provoking changes that summer brings forth include wardrobe shifts, new food exposures, body comments, changes in routine, pressures from society from sayings like, "beach body" or "bikini body," and so much more. This isn't to say that those with eating disorders can't or don't also look forward to vacations, memories, and fun; It's the difference that these experiences may feel jaded by anxiety, worry, and preoccupation with food and body. These stressors can be quite consuming, as well as isolating.

Loved Ones: You Can Help!

If you're planning an overseas trip, a 4th of July barbeque, a lake trip, or simply family gatherings this summer, it's important to be aware of how you can help someone, even unknowingly. Even if you don't believe any loved ones joining in the festivities struggle with an eating disorder, there is still language you can engage in that's helpful to all parties. As a rule of thumb, simply steer away from ALL food and body comments! If you notice your cousin going back for seconds at the family barbecue, don't comment. If you notice your sister has gained or lost weight, don't comment. If you notice your nephew keeps his shirt on while on the boat where other's are just in swim trunks, don't comment!

Commenting on your cousin getting seconds may draw attention to someone who may have already been anxious to get up and get more food that they enjoyed. Complimenting your sister's weight loss emphasizes that they look "better" than before. Complimenting your sister's weight loss could also be fueling their eating disorder, to "keep going." Commenting on weight gain or loss draws further attention to the individual that people might be judging their body. This comment could deter her from joining the next family function, if she feels her body will be analyzed again. Drawing attention to, even if in a joking manner, your niece with the shirt on, puts a spotlight on a decision that he's made, and requires that he now explain himself. What if he is still nervous with his shirt on? What if this sends the message to others that you must conform even if you're uncomfortable? What if he simply- preferred his shirt to stay on? Our society has normalized commenting on everything, without awareness into the weight our questions or comments may carry.

Now, let's talk about the instance where you are aware that someone joining the festivities struggles with an eating disorder. Before the trip has begun, if your relationship is close enough to do so, ask ahead of time how you can best support your loved one. For example, are there certain meals they feel most comfortable with? Do they have specific concerns about something on the itinerary? Would they like to pre-plan a code word to signal that they could use a check-in? Planning ahead is key. Having a plan in place can help both parties feel more confident in how this trip may go. What seems so simple as just providing a loved one's "safe" meal, could ease more anxiety than you will ever know for the one who is struggling. The gesture of even asking ahead of time how you can help may remind the individual that they have someone in their corner, and that they are not alone in this. Another take-away point is that if you have concern over your loved one's intake, behavior, or demeanor, do not ask about this in front of others! Find not only the appropriate place, but also appropriate time to ask how you can support your loved one. As mentioned above, do not question their wardrobe choices. Did they put on a bikini that you felt was too big or too small? Keep this opinion to yourself. Did they keep their street clothes on when they went on the boat? Leave it.

Encourage and support your loved one in the best way you know how, but understand that you will never gain total insight into their experience, and that's okay. Finally, one of the most pivotal things that you can do is: model healthy behavior. What I mean by this is, wake up and have breakfast with your loved one. Snack as you are hungry throughout the day. Enjoy your food. Listen to your body. Don't make negative comments about your body. Model behavior that encourages fueling yourself, and allowing yourself to exist in your body. If a loved one is already nervous about getting in their three meals a day, and they watch you skip two, their ED just held on to that, and used it as ammunition for them to restrict, too. You have the ability to be a role model and form of comfort by merely treating your own body with kindness.

You Can Do This

If you yourself are the one with or recovering from an eating disorder, there too are steps you can take to help prepare you for summer activities. Having a plan in place settles some of the unknown, and addresses fears before they're present in the moment. For example, if you are worried about dinners with the family, ask what meals you are having beforehand. If eating a meal prepared by others is hard for you, notify someone that you will be bringing your own meal. This will give someone else insight into your plan, so if questions arise (I hope they don't) they can support you. If you are in a spot in recovery where your family provides accountability for your intake, discuss expectations before hand. For example, discuss what meals or how much you are expected to take in before the trip begins, to alleviate confusion. If family members provide accountability after meals, decide ahead of time what this will look like. If the activity allows, use the buddy system. Just like it sounds, bring a trusted friend with you that you feel comfortable with, and that you feel you could best communicate your needs to. If you're anxious about wearing certain hiking clothes, for example, ask if they would wear clothes similar to what you're comfortable wearing. This can help to not feel like you're "standing out."

This leads into the next point, of packing comfortable clothes. It's so important to bring clothes ahead of time that bring you comfort and peace. Whether it's a favorite t-shirt, jacket, or pajamas, bring these comfort items with you; maybe even wear it on the day where the most triggers are present. The next point that is absolutely crucial is to have a backup plan. We all know that we can plan often, and life still doesn't go accordingly. Plan ahead for an unexpected meal. Bring a variety snacks you are comfortable with. Bring supplement shakes for on-the-spot anxiety. Have an emergency buddy that you can call, text, or pull to the side if unexpected triggers arise. Finally, and arguably most importantly, remember to give yourself grace. Navigating an eating disorder and recovery are not easy feats, and you are facing them head on. All that you can do is your best. Try to remember when you're on vacation and feeling weary: "which will I remember more in years to come, the calories I took in, or the memories I made with my loved ones?" Something tells me you can guess which one will stand out more.

Vacation's Over, Now What?
Things to Remember:

- Your body did not change over night

- Your body shape and weight are supposed to fluctuate

- These feelings will pass

- Your body allowed you to make new memories

- You do not need to make up for changes in diet/exercise on your vacation

- Your body needs rest

- It's normal to feel different emotions as you arrive home

- It's okay to feel discomfort if you challenged behaviors/symptoms recently

- Someday a vacation will just be a vacation. A barbeque will just be a barbeque. And food and body won't hijack these experiences. Hold on for that day. It is coming!

Summertime: Stressors and Solutions

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