Psychological Impacts

Dec 2

Reminder: Eating disorders are a mental health disorder, not a physical one.

The psychological consequences of an eating disorder can often feel the most unrelenting. The presence of an eating disorder increases the overall chances of developing other mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, suicidality, and more. Individuals with an eating disorder often experience something that can be described as a constant inner monologue. The following is an example of just this.

Picture this: A family of four is sitting around a dinner table, eating dinner together. The parents and sister are chatting away, discussing their day, mindlessly eating and enjoying their meal, and aren't putting much thought into the food except for whether they like it or not. Meanwhile, the individual struggling with an eating disorder is having a very different experience (which often goes completely unnoticed by others). The one suffering may have a relentless reel going on in their head:

"How many calories are in this? I can't believe I let mom cook without me watching what she put in it. I'll bet you she used oil. There's no way I should allow myself to eat all of this. How fast are the others eating? How much are they going to eat? Hopefully, they don't notice I'm stressed. I'll push the food around on my plate so they don't think I'm not eating. I definitely ate too much food already today to be able to deserve dinner too. Will I be able to purge without them noticing later? Maybe I'll say I'm going on a walk. Okay, I'll just make up for this tomorrow. I'll restrict tomorrow. What if they make a family dinner again tomorrow though? Okay, I'll workout tomorrow too, just in case. Uh oh, I might need some fuel for my big test tomorrow. Okay, I'll have something 30 minutes before the test. That should work. Oh no, someone just brought up getting ice cream for dessert. How do I get out of this? I know, I'll say I have a stomachache. I haven't used that one in a while. What if they challenge me? No, stay calm. You aren't feeling well; they'll have to respect that. You haven't talked in a while; throw in a response to your dad. Good, that should keep them in the dark. Maybe I'll have time to run out and buy laxatives later. Shame on me for not buying them sooner. Why wasn't I more prepared?"

Was that a little long to read? Now, imagine having those thoughts, not for the moments it took to read that example, but all day, every day. To put it simply, it's almost impossible to understand what it's like from an outside perspective. Others may be aware of the "anxiety around meal time," or "stress about calories," but they're often blind to the true reality of what the individual's mind sounds like. It's not just at meal times that this dialogue is going. Imagine taking an important exam for your future, and all you can focus on is: not letting your stomach grumble too loud, worrying about what you'll eat later, noticing how your stomach is hitting your pants, thinking about how much you ate last night, scared the gym will be closed by the time the test is over, frustrated you ate that "extra" bit of food while you studied, and anxious because the girl next to you is snacking.

These are just a few examples of the realities an eating disorder can bring to one's life. Please treat those struggling with an ED with compassion. Please continue to educate yourself. And please, never underestimate or invalidate the presence these symptoms have on an individual's life.

Maria Ortiz

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